鼠ん

In my mind I've got this image of "good websites" and "bad websites". It's kind of gross and catty and judgy of me.
Who am I to say what's good and bad? What authority do I have? I'm a highly opinionated person: that's all I can say about my claims. I'm efficient at making layouts, and I can write things down, but what merit does that have when everyone else here can bend HTML to their will all the same? I'm no more skilled than they are.

I realise that rather than going through people's websites I should be reading more books--in every website, I only look for something to read. If not something to read, I want something unique to look at, or listen to, or to interact with. I want something fresh and unique to the webmaster.
Isn't that greedy? A thousand things in the world for me, and I demand you serve me something special! A personal website is personal. The master (or mistress) decides on what should be included. Here I come, judgemental as ever, putting them on blast.

What's more, I've begun to prioritise this philosophy so much that sites that might be worth my time are completely sidelined, mentally, due to their appearances alone. If something fits into a "cliche", I'll end up side eyeing it... if the appearance is too "retro", if there are more graphics and design elements than text.
I feel peaceful when a website is mostly text. Are the images related to the article? Then why are they here, huh?! ← That sort of thought is genuinely unavoidable.

Why do I have to be so spiteful and rude? Oh well.
That's why I keep simplifying my own websites. You can't change others, but you can lead by example...

I'm also really petty when it comes to the code itself these days.

My markup must be as clean as possible.
It's gotta be 90% semantic, too, or else it's bust.
I'll use and abuse every trick in the book just to avoid using a class. Don't mind how genuinely disgusting the CSS is to an outsider.
I also need to avoid nested CSS so that my site looks the same if I view it from my laptop running Windows XP.

Hey hey hey, what's the point in all of this? Hey, 鼠機械, what the hell's your problem?!

now, quickly, 今日のRECAP:
saw my employment agency. spent so much valuable time in a government office trying to fix up mismatched documentation just to end up doing things online. smoked until i felt sick and only then did i go home. I'm so so fucking stressed. playing mahjong soul as i type this.

With that out of the way,
じゃあね！

I saw my doctor about my bipolar disorder some days ago. That was all fun and games, and I got a referral to a psychologist written up (even though I asked for a psychiatrist, but that's whatever), and
he even put me on new medication without my having to beg, but
it's epilepsy medication...

He thinks that it's a mood stabiliser because if it calms epilepsy it should calm mania as they're both too many electrical signals in the brain. This... isn't proven at all, by the looks of it. Actually, it seems to be more proven as a weight loss drug than anything to do with bipolar disorder...

He told me all about how he's nervous about putting people my age on lithium but he would readily put someone his own age on lithium without a second thought. He wants to "leave that to the professionals". Are you not a licensed practitioner lol? is this not your job?
At least the word "lithium" never came out of my mouth--that was all him. I mean, it's what I desperately wantね？ But I have a complex about drug seeking so I'll wait to see the psychologist

the new medication is really fucking me up so far. I was warned that they cause drowsiness and everything, but all I've done over the past couple of days is sleep and bawl my eyes out and lie around, and I ended up talking to my girlfriend the whole night last night. I feel like there's literally no hope in fixing my sleep schedule anymore. FML. I'm so exhausted and I have no control over anything

Today I want to try to dress nice and do shironuri but I just don't know if I have the energy.
じゃあね。、、（；；）

I'm tired, tired, tired, every single day. There is nothing that brings me joy at this point. I can't draw, I can't write, I can't even find it within me to make web layouts, my former pride and joy. I don't play video games and I don't watch shows or movies or YouTube videos. What do I even DO?

( In this post: Mindlesss complaining... )
じゃあね〜