I keep doing nasty things

2026-09-19T20:49:41Z

I think there's something hard-wired in my heart and soul intended to make me miserable and to die an early death. I can't stop doing nasty and dangerous things! My heart aches and my head spins no matter what. My limbs are always in pain due to general weakness and a mistake I made many years ago. I think I have to throw in the towel one of these days.

Every time I wake up I discover a brand new way to feel sick and new evidence of self destruction (in one of various forms) left from the previous day that I usually can't for the life of me remember actually doing. It's like there is an evil spirit possessing me.

I don't think this evil spirit is really a thing, so I need to stop blaming it. The only evil spirit and ghost in my life is Akuryou Obake, and he's done nothing to me except inspire a kind and creative life, so I should stop calling all my wild and dangerous feats "Akuryou Obake aura" lol
it's not like I can even match his level of cool with the way he hurts himself

My family kind of thinks ignoring my issues will make them go away though and it's making me sicker and sicker as time goes on. The days are ticking down until I see a psychiatrist for the first time so hopefully they can fix me when it happens...mentally at least. the physical issues are maybe bust forever

じゃあね。

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I'm sick of all my hobbies. I'm sick of life itself.

2026-09-14T04:09:05Z

I'm tired, tired, tired, every single day. There is nothing that brings me joy at this point. I can't draw, I can't write, I can't even find it within me to make web layouts, my former pride and joy. I don't play video games and I don't watch shows or movies or YouTube videos. What do I even DO?

( In this post: Mindlesss complaining... )
じゃあね〜

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鼠ん

I keep doing nasty things

I'm sick of all my hobbies. I'm sick of life itself.