鼠ん

I woke up around 10AM today, which is good. After only 3 hours of sleep, which is bad. My life is falling apart.

I feel like I'm sitting between dream and reality at all times... sleep deprivation is doing awful numbers to my body, spirit, heart & mind. I don't know how much longer I can take this. I'm yawning as I type this, and I'm so sad and lonely, and I want nothing more than to go to bed. But I feel like I have to wait another hour or two.

I saw my employment supervisor today, and my friend Harm gifted me a 3D model, as detailed in my last post. I had pretty good luck and hyper-won a Mahjong game. But aside from that I can't think of what I've done today. I can't think of what happened today at all. It's not even a blur, or a muddy puddle, it doesn't exist. It is nothing. My brain is fucked up and my body hurts more than anything.

I want to go to sleep... please...

Oh, I booked a doctor's appointment for a week from now. I'm going to beg the dude for lithium or at least a psych referral lol. My bipolar disorder is kicking my ass
and everything hurts
and I suffer from severe insomnia due to both mania and depression
and I hate it all

じゃあね。